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Rank: Valedictorian
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/7/2008
Posts: 509
Location: Newmarket
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Stringer wrote:Welcome to the Turkey Dump. lol well I got rid of 40 in like 5 minutes
YORK; Honors Arts - History Major/German minor? '12
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/18/2008
Posts: 5
Location: Ontario
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and out of those 4 year, 3 of them we've been living at least 4 hours away (for one year i was in a different country as well!) but we're still together.
Luckily going away for college is actually going to bring me closer to him.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/18/2008
Posts: 9
Location: LINDSAY, ONTARIO
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Hey. I had the same thing happen to me, except I wasn't the one who was going to school. My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost 2 years and he was going to university in Sept. I dreaded the day he had to leave for months before. I saw the movies, I read the books, I heard the stories. I knew the things that happened at school! I constantly asked him what he was thinking about the situation, and in the end, thats what I regret the most. I feel that if I hadn't have brought it up all the time, things would have gone so much better. We are not currently together, but we still talk on the phone 5 days a week. We are best friends and I think its the best thing that ever happened to us! Luckily, I am going to college in North Bay in Sept. which is attatched to the university he goes to!!! Everything works out for the better. Let life takes its course. Ta ta for now. JS
Jessica - Cambrian College
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/19/2008
Posts: 5
Location: Canada
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I think as it has been said, it really depends on you and your significant other. If you truly care about each other distance will not keep you apart for long... However I would also add that you should not let the fact you have a bf/gf get in the way of your university experience. Go out and have some fun and if it lasts thats great, but if it doesnt it isnt the end of the world!!!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/19/2008
Posts: 10
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I can honestly say I really don't like long distance relationships but if you really like a person it shouldn't really affect it as long as you can at least still see eachother sometime... I'm actually going to be in a situation that I'm not sure what I will do. So, my boyfriend is going to be going to school in the fall and I will be too ... I will be about 4 or 5 hours away and when I finally do get back my job is going to keep me busy all over the place.... I'm hopefully going to be a flight attendant... So I don't know what to do ... i feel like I will be holding him back or maybe the other way around ... anyone have a comment?
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/19/2008
Posts: 5
Location: BC
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If you are meant to eventually get married, it will become CLEAR. The two hours distance will definantly give it a different element, maybe the change is good. Good for you for taking the step to university if that's what you think you should do, everythin else will come together in its time!
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/17/2008
Posts: 92
Location: Bowmanville
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Marie wrote:Hmm well.. my boyfriend and I might go to the same University. It depends where we get accepted.. I'm really worried of losing touch and stuff.. but atleast some of these posts give good news  I hope it all works out. and for anyone else in this situation I hope it works out for you, but the best piece of advice is to not let where he gets accepted affect your decision. Don't go to university for him, or it may lead to uber resentment. I'm in the same situation and that's the one thing I promised myself, because my boyfriend and I had one university choice in common also.
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/17/2008
Posts: 92
Location: Bowmanville
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small_fry_222 wrote:I don't know about anybody else, but I found it so hard to leave my boyfriend (of 1 year at the time, we've now been together for 2) that I stayed home an extra year 40% to save money and 60% because I couldn't be away from him. I spent two months away one summer when I was a counsellor at camp and it was the hardest time. Also he is a musician and is on the road a lot touring with his band, so it was too hard for us to be so far apart. Next year I am moving to Ottawa, and we discussed it, and yes, fought over it for quite some time, and we decided the best decision would be to move in together in Ottawa. Luckily his whole band agreed. It would be much easier since it's just the two of you. Have you guys considered that in the next year or two? I know it doesn't work for everybody, but it's still definitely something worth discussing. My boyfriend and I have discussed that too. I always said that I wanted to live in rez my first year (I'm set hardcore on living in rez), and then originally I wanted to move in with him second year. He's deadset on moving in whenever, but is being flexible because he knows I want to wait. Now I'm kind of having my doubts, just because when you think about it, if you end up together, you have the rest of your lives to live together. You're only in university for four years, and then that's it! You know? Not that I don't love him, but I think I'd rather live in rez until we're through all the messy university "we're-both-going-through-changes" stuff, because I think we'll survive it & be happier that we had that time for ourselves. Plus it would be stressful as heck worrying about rent and all that other stuff while we're both worrying about term papers, and we'd both have to commute every day due to our universities' locations .. the list goes on. My advice would be to wait it out and live on your own for a while (I'd say at least your first two years, if not more). If nothing else, you'll learn to live alone and it'll teach you independence, because if things fell apart, it would suck more trying to learn to live on your own while nursing break-up wounds.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/23/2008
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
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I'm going to have the same problem as well. I'll be 6 hours from my boyfriend. I'm a big believer in fate so you really have to take it one day at a time. If it's meant to be, then it will find a way of working itself out. I think if you start fretting about it now, it will make the relationship unpleasant and you'll start feeling like you have to break up with him to make it work. Just take it one day aat a time...you can't plan these things!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/24/2008
Posts: 8
Location: BC
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Hm... I'm in a similar situation, except I'm going to be a 6 hour plane ride away (moving across the country). I'll be back every four months or so, but I'm of the firm belief that people who say that long distance relationships don't work didn't grow up in the age of technology, where you can see and talk to someone across the country on your computer. I think it's important to find out how much you trust and love someone. And, especially, with the kind of life he wants to lead (coast guard or diver) he'll be away a lot. I have an aunt and uncle who spend months apart because of their jobs, and I'm sure that if it's worth it, it will work.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/24/2008
Posts: 4
Location: Lindsay
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My boyfriend of the last 3 years moved to Oshawa to persue a career and we talk every night on the phone, he kept his local number and got the fab five plan so he gets free calling between us. when I move to Toronto in September he is going to be moving back home so we will still be 3 hours apart :'( But we are doing the same thing except I'll be the one with the cell phone. It is a great idea, all his I must admit. And like almost everyone on this forum has said if he is the right guy it will work
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/24/2008
Posts: 5
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I have a similar situation, except my boyfriend lives in California, and I live in Vancouver. It is a 24 hour drive, or a 2 hours flight (but that can get pricey). We managed to make it last until about April of my first year (almost making it to a year and a half in total) but right now we're taking a break. We found the distance was driving us apart and making us unhappy, so we are testing a break out to see how it feels.
I think it is important to experience life and other things when you are in university. You may think this boy is the person you are going to marry, but if that's true, you will end up together no matter what!
My advice:
1) take things a day at a time
2) get through the long periods of time by looking forward to seeing each other on the next visit - counting down the days...etc
3) keeping each other updated
4) relying on your friends for support
5) keeping yourself busy
6) video chatting!
I hope this helped!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/24/2008
Posts: 8
Location: toronto
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in my opinion, they don't work, as much as you want them too. especially when one or both of you are in first year. Not only will you find yourselves broke, but the long phone bills/travel expenses don't help that, and part of you will resent them for that. As much as I wanted my relationship to last, I found myself too tempted my the new environment (and boys!) and I'm ashamed to say I cheated. I still loved my bf alot, but being away was so hard, and i didnt want to hold myself back with a relationship, and miss out on fun opportunities like dances, pub nights etc. instead of sitting in my res room feeling sorry for myself.
I recomend staying in touch, and taking a pause, or having an open relationship for the first few months, until you see eachotehr again, then discuss how you both feel at that point (be honest!) and if then you both still feel like it's worth it, go for it. and good luck! i just hope you fair better than i did!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/25/2008
Posts: 11
Location: Toronto
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I speak from experience: Never do they ever work.
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 1,704
Location: Wilfrid Laurier University
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I honestly can't think of one couple that has stayed together long-distance. Some work for awhile, but I think most are doomed from the start.
Out of sight, out of mind. Plus, there are plenty of other options at university...
-Stringer
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 393
Location: Paris, Ontario
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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 and a half years and I can say that our long distance relationship did work.
Though it was not a drastically far distance, (40 minute drive) it was still difficult because He didn't own a car, and I didn't have a driver's License yet. I was still in high school and he started his first year of college. It's really ridiculous looking back on it now, seeing as it was such waste of money for him to move there, when there was a shuttle bus he could have taken, making it way less expensive. But anyways, he moved there and it was difficult, in comparison to the relationship that we had while he was still in high school. Being able to see him most days, to only being able to see him 2 days out of the week and sometimes every other weekend was hard. It was hard for me not to be jealous of him, like having the feeling of being left behind. If it wasn't so early in our relationship then, I probably wouldn't have had those feelings, but of course jealousy will exist heavily in a new relationship you aren't exactly sure of. It was hard not to feel resentful towards him for 'leaving me' and it was hard for him not to resent me for feeling sad about him being away and feeling guilty for it. That first year definitely was a growing/learning experience. Now it's my turn to go away to university and though most would tend to disagree with me on this issue...I know a good thing when I see it/experience it. I'm not giving up on my relationship with my boyfriend and I am committed to making it work with him. Despite being 'young' and not having the 'piece of paper' he and I are family to each other, and he means more to me than any university does. Loving another person is all about being able to make sacrifices for each other, for the others well being. I can go anywhere for university, and I choose to go somewhere close by, maybe the campus at the university close by isn't as pretty as another campus, My point being, it's about making certain sacrifices. "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." My first year I plan to commute, and in my second, when he's done school, We're going to transfer ownership of the car to him, so he can use it to drive to work everday, and we'll be moving into an apartment closer to my university. You have to make sacrifices to make things work, because if you aren't willing, than the relationship is doomed to fail.
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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Rank: Valedictorian
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 552
Location: Kitchener, ON.
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Why aren't you guys (the couples) staying together and moving together to the university's city?
Long distance relationships are awfully annoying, stressful, and expensive, so why don't you guys stay together and move together?
Carleton University Class of 2012, Honours Bachelor of Arts
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/26/2008
Posts: 8
Location: Calgary
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My bestfriend's boyfriend is a goalie in the WHL. They started dating at the begginning of grade 10. He got drafted to seattle and moved there for his grade 11 year. Even though they are both so young they were in love enough to give it a go. He flyes home whenever he has a break and she goes down once ever 2 months to visit for a weekend. They also have the 3 months together in the summer. They made the long distance work. It'll work if both people want it to.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/26/2008
Posts: 5
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i just got out of a long distance relation ship, personally i think they can work if there is trust, and comunication, but if there is trust issuses or jelousy coming from one of the individuals it will never work!
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/17/2008
Posts: 109
Location: Winnipeg
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uwpsych wrote:So this fall I will be starting university and moving 2 hours away from home. Along with leaving my family and friends I will be leaving my boyfriend. We have been together for over a year and he will be staying to pursue an apprenticeship. We have a very open and trusting relationship and I was just wondering if anyone had any experience in this field. What was your situation and how did it work out? Any advice or thoughts on the issue? Anyone going through this right now? Lol. I used to live outside Canada and really liked this guy but then, it was just too complicated to be with someone who's halfway around the world. I know some people who tried it and it didn't work out... I'm not saying that long distance relationships do not work--it depends on the couple. If both of you can stay strong together even if you don't see each other all the time, then there's no question that you can make it work! 
Waiting on the world to change. ♥
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