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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 6/7/2008 Posts: 1,246 Location: The "planet" formerly known as pluto
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after saads disaster thread i was inspired by your math jokes so here is a place to display some academic jokes. 
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
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 Rank: Student Council Groups: Member
Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 439
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Not to ruin your joke, but the lim example seems to be wrong. lim x->8 of 1/(x-8) has no limit. Since, if you go from the right it's positive, if you go from the left it's negative. A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!" Math Jokes
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
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Generally saying the limit equals infinity is seen as the same as saying it does not exist.
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Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008 Posts: 3,942 Location: Kingston and Toronto
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How many Queen's students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, he holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Queen's '10 Ryerson '11
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 3/4/2008 Posts: 2,575 Location: Ottawa
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karla wrote:Generally saying the limit equals infinity is seen as the same as saying it does not exist. No, it means as you get closer to the value in question, the function gets larger and larger, i.e. the value approaches infinity. lim x->0 1/x^2 = infinity because while 1/0 doesn't exist, as you get close to it you get a huge number. But he's right. It is a limit you have to consider from both sides, since if it's - then it goes to -inf and if it's positive it goes to +inf. But it's a joke ;)
FAQ's: 1. Will I get in? See: electronicinfo.ca for Ontario schools. If you have a couple percent above the marks there and it's not looking at supplementary, the answer is almost certainly yes. 2. Anything else: Google it before asking.
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
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Ooosh wrote:How many Queen's students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, he holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him. I'm still waiting. Yeah, they're just jokes. As long as you can get the point and laugh at it, there's no point trying to dissect the mathematical accuracy of the problem.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.- Carl Jung
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Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008 Posts: 1,860
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Caesar wrote:Not to ruin your joke, but the lim example seems to be wrong. lim x->8 of 1/(x-8) has no limit. Since, if you go from the right it's positive, if you go from the left it's negative.
haha, ur very quick to notice that; i didnt notice it until u actually pointed it out.
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Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
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I can't figure out how to post pictures, but here are some good stupid answers: http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Animal_Nameshttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Elephanthttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Graph_Shapehttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Morse_Codehttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Speedometerhttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Womanhttp://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/exam-answers/Boss --- best one One I tried looking for but couldn't find is one that our orgo professor showed us. It is a reaction question with the chemical structure of something like sucrose (so there are a lot of hydroxyl (HO) groups), and the question was draw the resulting chemicals upon addition of acid. The student ends up drawing Santa's sleigh with a word box saying "HO HO HO." Too funny.
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology UWO '09 Bachelor of Pharmacy University of Alberta '13
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 5/22/2008 Posts: 2,467
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Don't drink and derrive.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.- Carl Jung
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 Rank: Posteur Intermédiaire Groups: Member
Joined: 4/17/2008 Posts: 512 Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o
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Ooosh wrote:How many Queen's students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, he holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him. Is that why the lights don't work very well at Queens?
International Development, 2010
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 Rank: Student Council Groups: Member
Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 439
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What economists say during Valentine's Day:
10. YOU RAISE MY INTEREST RATE THIRTY BASIS POINTS WITHOUT A CORRESPONDING DROPOFF IN CONSUMER ENTHUSIASM 9. DESPITE A DECADE OF INFLATION, I STILL DIG YOUR SUPPLY CURVE 8. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REMEASURE OUR CROSS-ELASTICITY 7. YOU BRING THE BUTTER, I'LL BRING THE GUN 6. LET'S RAISE HOUSING STARTS TOGETHER 5. FURTHER STIMULUS COULD RESULT IN UNCONTROLLED EXPANSION 4. TELL ME WHETHER MY EXPECTATIONS ARE RATIONAL 3. LET'S ASSUME A RITZY HOTEL ROOM AND A BOTTLE OF DOM 2. YOU STOKE THE ANIMAL SPIRITS OF MY MARKET 1. A LOAF OF BREAD, A JUG OF WINE, AND THOU BESIDE ME WATCHING RUKEYSER
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.
During the waning days of communism in the Soviet Union, an inspector was encharged with visiting local poultry farmers and inquiring about the amount of feed they were giving their chickens. Central planning was still in effect and each farmer was allocated 15 Roubles to spend on chicken feed. One farmer very honestly answered that he spent five of the allocated 15 Roubles on chicken feed. The inspector took this to mean that the thieving farmer pocketed the other ten and promptly had him imprisoned. Hearing of this through the rumour mill, the next farmer down the road insisted that he spent all 15 Roubles on food for the chickens. The inspector saw this as a case of budget-padding and the farmer as a wasteful opportunist. He too was imprisoned. The third farmer heard of both episodes and was more prepared for the inspector's arrival. "How many of the 15 Roubles do you actually spend on chicken feed," asked the inspector. Like a true nascent capitalist, the farmer threw his hands in the air and answered, "hey! I give 15 Roubles to the chickens. They can eat whatever they want!"
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 Rank: Student Council Groups: Member
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karla wrote:Generally saying the limit equals infinity is seen as the same as saying it does not exist. another great quote from an engineer. my calc prof is gonna love this one.
UW Math/WLU Business Double Degree 2013
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
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taishici wrote:karla wrote:Generally saying the limit equals infinity is seen as the same as saying it does not exist. another great quote from an engineer. my calc prof is gonna love this one. What does being an engineer have to do with it? One person makes a mistake and suddenly it's the entire engineering world's burden to bear? Though I must admit, for being as highly marked a student as karla seems to be, I found that rather curious.
Meatball Engineering '12 能ある鷹は爪を隠す
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Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008 Posts: 5,937
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qwertqwert wrote:I found that rather curious. Maybe... she... is... human?
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology UWO '09 Bachelor of Pharmacy University of Alberta '13
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 6/23/2008 Posts: 3,393 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Jeez, you're really sniping lately.
It's a fairly basic thing to have the wrong idea about, if you've taken calculus courses, therefore I find it a bit odd.
Meatball Engineering '12 能ある鷹は爪を隠す
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I suppose... I certainly wasn't able to pick out her mistake though. And I took a full year of calculus in first year (and I did well enough that you would think I should be able to pick it out). First year was a little while ago for me though... Karla???
BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology UWO '09 Bachelor of Pharmacy University of Alberta '13
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Rank: Frosh Groups: Member
Joined: 12/4/2008 Posts: 4 Location: Alberta
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What do you call an M&M that goes to college? A Smartie! XD Ya... lame I know... one of my Psych Profs told use that one.
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Rank: Student Council Groups: Member
Joined: 11/12/2008 Posts: 351 Location: Toronto
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mynameismattgotmlgo wrote: bahahahaaaaa I burst out laughing at the elephant one... oh man!
is excited for a future, and will start to be excited for her future once she decides on it. ! Applied to: McGill, Queen's, UofT (St. George) : Arts (International Studies), Western Early Acceptance to: Everywhere! Now for the decisions.
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
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man i looked at all those links and god that's funny!
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
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 Rank: Student Body President Groups: Member
Joined: 6/5/2008 Posts: 6,357
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taishici wrote:karla wrote:Generally saying the limit equals infinity is seen as the same as saying it does not exist. another great quote from an engineer. my calc prof is gonna love this one. I am fully aware that they are two different things. Just in my calculus courses that I have taken, if the limit was equal to infinity, and I had written "does not exist" I would've gotten the question right, based on how they marked it (I think). I obviously didn't word my statement right however.
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