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Well, this is what I was referring to: http://forums.studentawards.com/yaf_postst1894p3_College-vs-University.aspx"You can easily get a job with an Arts degree. I know because I got a job within a week of graduating. I work a job that has zero relation to my degree and that I could have gotten without the degree." -Stringer What's the deal?
Meatball Engineering '12 能ある鷹は爪を隠す
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i've been with my gf for about 1.5 months... and once uni starts i intend to not be with her.
she's a year younger than me, so she'll just be starting grade 12 and i'll be in uni.. we'll both be at different points in our lives, so i don't think it can work. so i'm not that serious about her.
and i don't really want to be tied down, with all these new girls i'll meet in uni (yeah okay so i'm a bit of a philanderer.)
i'm keeping things easy going between us for the remaining time.. the only reason i got involved with her is i wanted to have a summer fling/something to keep me busy during weekends.
Ryerson 2012
Politics & Governance
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Read the rest of the thread... I was not referring to "me".
-Stringer
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mike_ wrote:the only reason i got involved with her is i wanted to have a summer fling/something to keep me busy during weekends. Worst reason ever. Haha
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mike_ wrote:i've been with my gf for about 1.5 months... and once uni starts i intend to not be with her.
she's a year younger than me, so she'll just be starting grade 12 and i'll be in uni.. we'll both be at different points in our lives, so i don't think it can work. so i'm not that serious about her.
and i don't really want to be tied down, with all these new girls i'll meet in uni (yeah okay so i'm a bit of a philanderer.)
i'm keeping things easy going between us for the remaining time.. the only reason i got involved with her is i wanted to have a summer fling/something to keep me busy during weekends. That is the type of stereotypical male attitude that punishes girls so harshly. You used her, her feelings, and her lifestyle to get something for yourself. That's the most selfish thing you could do to someone, and you don't seem to think anything of it.
Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
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D.Dickin wrote:mike_ wrote:i've been with my gf for about 1.5 months... and once uni starts i intend to not be with her.
she's a year younger than me, so she'll just be starting grade 12 and i'll be in uni.. we'll both be at different points in our lives, so i don't think it can work. so i'm not that serious about her.
and i don't really want to be tied down, with all these new girls i'll meet in uni (yeah okay so i'm a bit of a philanderer.)
i'm keeping things easy going between us for the remaining time.. the only reason i got involved with her is i wanted to have a summer fling/something to keep me busy during weekends. That is the type of stereotypical male attitude that punishes girls so harshly. You used her, her feelings, and her lifestyle to get something for yourself. That's the most selfish thing you could do to someone, and you don't seem to think anything of it. How do you know she wasn't in it for the same things he was? Step down from your ivory tower and enter the real world. Every relationship isn't about getting married and living happily ever after. In fact, most aren't.
-Stringer
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I don't have an issue with people getting into relationships for whatever superficial reasons they want, as long as they're honest about it to the other person. Otherwise it can be quite selfish.
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The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't!
Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
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Back to the original post....
My boyfriend and I are going to try to make it work. We will be going to different schools about five hours apart, but he has a car and our families live in the same city so home visits will be at the same time. Plus we have been together over 2 and a half years. It also helps that we both took an extra year of high school just to get out heads on straight so I think we are a little more mature and know more of what we want out of life. Plus with all the technology around now, it shouldn't be too hard. It just takes two commited people. We have also talked about all sorts of issues that might come up and how we hope to deal with them. I think it is like anything else in life, if you explore your options, choose the best path, do you reasearch , think things through and generally just make a well developed action plan, things should go pretty smoothly. It's definatly something to talk about and think long and hard about, but he and I feel that it is worth the effort. I would just make sure that the two of you are on the same page about everything.
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D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! LOL. You're just close-minded. Who are you to say what reasons are acceptable for people to get into relationships?
-Stringer
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D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! I think that's ridiculous. I don't think the purpose of a relationship is to eventually get married. There are so many other things that you can take out of a relationship, and to expect everyone going into a relationship to expect marriage in the future with this person is ridiculous.
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D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! pursue marriage? are you on crack? im 17, just finished high school and still have my life ahead of me, why would i even want to THINK about marriage now. i don't know a single person from my friends who is currently in a relationship and is seriously considering marrying their bf/gf. it is entirely normal and acceptabe for people to get involved together for FUN.
Ryerson 2012 Politics & Governance
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I do view relationships as the process of looking for someone to share the rest of my life with. That doesn't mean I think to hard about that aspect before starting a relationship, or that at 17 you should be seriously thinking about marriage potential of everyone you date for a month, but I wouldn't stay in a relationship knowing it wasn't the right person for that. So I couldn't really personally see being in a relationship where I plan to dump someone at a particular time in the future. In the scenario described by mike_, I can totally understand the feeling of not wanting to be tied down at university by a GF who is still in high school, knowing full well that the odds of the relationship surviving past thanksgiving are pretty slim. But there's a difference between planning on dumping someone, and planning to propose something like "It's probably not going to work out after I go to university, and I'll probably see other girls, but lets stay friends and maybe if it's meant to be we can pick it up again in the future". It's more a difference of the mindset than the end result I suppose, but to me there is a difference there.
FAQ's: 1. Will I get in? See: electronicinfo.ca for Ontario schools. If you have a couple percent above the marks there and it's not looking at supplementary, the answer is almost certainly yes. 2. Anything else: Google it before asking.
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mike_ wrote:D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! pursue marriage? are you on crack? im 17, just finished high school and still have my life ahead of me, why would i even want to THINK about marriage now. i don't know a single person from my friends who is currently in a relationship and is seriously considering marrying their bf/gf. it is entirely normal and acceptabe for people to get involved together for FUN. On crack eh? Awesome job with the argument used by 10 year-olds... Dating should be a trial-and-error for you to look for that "perfect" person to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, you're only 17, as am I, but if you're not dating the person for that eventual goal then you're just using them for various reasons. If you're going to place limitations on when, where, and for how long you'll be dating, then you're really not committed to the relationship.
Carleton University
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Stringer wrote:D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! LOL. You're just close-minded. Who are you to say what reasons are acceptable for people to get into relationships? The same person who you are to tell people not to live with their boyfriends and girlfriends.
Carleton University
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D.Dickin wrote:mike_ wrote:D.Dickin wrote:The entire purpose of a relationship is (or should be) to pursue a marriage. If you're placing limitations on your relationship ("It's just something to do" or "It's fun, but I don't really like him in that way") then you're just using the other person for their assets, whether it's money, "favours", or temporary companionship. It's sick to even think that anyone could go into a relationship to think about only being together for a summer, or a time period while they're able to. If you're not committed enough to get into it, don't! pursue marriage? are you on crack? im 17, just finished high school and still have my life ahead of me, why would i even want to THINK about marriage now. i don't know a single person from my friends who is currently in a relationship and is seriously considering marrying their bf/gf. it is entirely normal and acceptabe for people to get involved together for FUN. On crack eh? Awesome job with the argument used by 10 year-olds... Dating should be a trial-and-error for you to look for that "perfect" person to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, you're only 17, as am I, but if you're not dating the person for that eventual goal then you're just using them for various reasons. If you're going to place limitations on when, where, and for how long you'll be dating, then you're really not committed to the relationship. I think that's a very naive view of dating and relationships. I think you could view any relationship as just 'using them' for various reasons. I think you shoul dbe able to put whatever limitations you want on a relationship as long as you're clear on what those are.
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I suppose I should add that I don't really include a non committed bed-buddy type relationship in the same boat. But whether or not that's a good idea is an entirely different discussion ;) Edit: I did not type bed-buddy. Nor did I type out the full word I was going for, but I can't remember if I just stuck to the F or did a bit more.
FAQ's: 1. Will I get in? See: electronicinfo.ca for Ontario schools. If you have a couple percent above the marks there and it's not looking at supplementary, the answer is almost certainly yes. 2. Anything else: Google it before asking.
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I dunno. I guess it depends on the person.
I'm going to try it starting in the fall with the guy I've been going out with since April or March. I don't remember, screw anniversaries. We're both going to U of T except different campuses. Since the summer started we've pretty much been living together at his parents house in the basement apartment... we buy our own food, pay our own bills, or I do anyway, just don't pay rent yet. Which is definitely not something I'm looking forward to as I only seem to be getting like $200 a paycheque. Need to find a new job lol.
I dunno I mean I don't find him to be a thing to take me away from my work because we kind of both understand that school's a priority. Especially when we both have huge loans that eventually need to be paid off. But we'll see? I know I can be a huge, maniacal pain in the ass when I'm under stress, and nobody wants to live with that, hahaha. And the fam wants me back at home for uni as well, even though financially being away from home makes the most sense for me and them.
I think I could see myself staying with him long term if we were older. He's told me he'd consider asking me to marry him if we were older. I mean it's nice to think about but not entirely realistic going into university. I'm not saying I'd break up with someone just because I'm in university, but you're entering an entirely different stage of your life. I don't know if I'd want the same things I want now once I'm out.
Then again I have a friend who recently got engaged to her HS boyfriend. He's 20 and she's 18 now, they've been together since she was 16. They're marrying after she graduates university or he graduates college. Not something I would ever do, get engaged at this age I mean... I mean they haven't even ever lived together. I think it's more like a promise ring to everyone but them.
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I think even discussing marriage at this age is kind of weird and unnecessary. If you're still together five years from now, great, discuss it then, I just don't think it really even should be brought up at this stage of our lives
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I agree with D.Dickin's argument - but mostly in relevance to people who think they need to have a bunch of temporary flings before they can seriously consider commitment orrr that you need to "go through" a bunch of people in order to meet the guy/girl of your dreams. It's perfectly okay to treat a relationship as a temporary fling as long as the other person feels the same way about it. If you're just going to lead them into some emotional love-sick trap that they probably won't be able to get out of for years, doesn't that sound kind of selfish?
It’s true that adolescent relationships should be all about having fun (and that marriage should only be considered when you’ve been together for some time) but it’s important to realize that being young doesn’t really spare you of feelings/being considerate of your partner’s feelings.
Environmental Studies & Resource Management, Earth Science
University of Waterloo '11
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