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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/25/2008
Posts: 916
Location: waterloo, ontario
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This discussion may be overdone to death =P but is there anyone whose in favour of not living together with the folks during their years in university? Why/why not?
The biggest pro of course, is not having to deal with the itty gritty basic necessities. And I honestly loved getting pampered and getting to be lazy during my first year.
My parents are generally quite over-protective, and lived with me part-time for most of my first year and now I’m finding it really hard to just say, “I’d like to have some independence now!” because they seem to take it the wrong way every time I bring it up. It’s not that I think I could do particularly well without them (because I’ve always been kind of dependent, and I’m not much of a partier to need to have my parents out of the way or anything..) – but I really think I need to get some time away from them so I can grow a little on my own. So how did the rest of you tackle that whole independence issue? Were your parents chill with it, or did you have to state explicit reasons? Any advice any of you could offer me – at all?
Environmental Studies & Resource Management, Earth Science
University of Waterloo '11
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 4/28/2008
Posts: 11
Location: Ottawa
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I'm going into 3rd year and decided to move out this summer. Previously I lived at home and bused to and fro school every day. The biggest reason for moving out i.m.o. is the true freedom you have. You can run things the way you want, don't have to do any favors for your 'rents. Another plus is if you're like me and lived in the middle of nowhere, relocating near school means you can have people over all the time! If your parents were anything like mine, with your newfound freedom you can have more fun with the opposite sex ;) Downside is you have to make ends meet. Best decision I've made so far.
Carleton University - Mechanical Engineering III
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step"
-Martin Luther King Jr.
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 4/5/2008
Posts: 120
Location: GTA
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I moved out a couple years ago, and even without a car, free home cooked meals, and no money whatsoever, the very idea of moving back home terrifies me.
Independence is like coke. Once you get a taste of it, you get addicted.
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 5,232
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For me living with my parents is totally worth it. With school and rugby (which I play varsity as well) it's a lifesaver to live at home. I can come home and my meals are cooked for me, my mom often makes me lunch, and I don't have to worry about grocery shopping, cleaning etc. But my parents do give me a lot of independance (I think I have also earned it). For example, if I go out I just have to tell them I won't be coming home that night and it's no big deal. So best of both worlds I guess.
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 401
Location: Paris, Ontario
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karla wrote:For me living with my parents is totally worth it. With school and rugby (which I play varsity as well) it's a lifesaver to live at home. I can come home and my meals are cooked for me, my mom often makes me lunch, and I don't have to worry about grocery shopping, cleaning etc. But my parents do give me a lot of independance (I think I have also earned it). For example, if I go out I just have to tell them I won't be coming home that night and it's no big deal. So best of both worlds I guess. Your parents sound like mine. Which is why it is great living at home! 
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/4/2008
Posts: 958
Location: Alberta
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karla wrote:For me living with my parents is totally worth it. With school and rugby (which I play varsity as well) it's a lifesaver to live at home. I can come home and my meals are cooked for me, my mom often makes me lunch, and I don't have to worry about grocery shopping, cleaning etc. But my parents do give me a lot of independance (I think I have also earned it). For example, if I go out I just have to tell them I won't be coming home that night and it's no big deal. So best of both worlds I guess. Your parents also sound like mine but i'm still peacing out. Fending for yourself is always a vital part of growing up. Though i'm sure we can all agree living in residence does not qualify as "fending for yourself" 
Taiyab wrote: Is it me, or is Karla Homolka gorgeous! Lamoid wrote: SHE HAS A KILLER BODY.
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 5,232
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I figure I can fend for myself later when I have the money to do it. I like not having to work while in school.
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 5/22/2008
Posts: 1,701
Location: The People's Republic of Kingstonia
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I would love to live at home and save that $. You could use it for grad school!
MA'11 (Queen's)
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 105
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I like the freedom and the sense of independence (no, we're not really independent, it's just an illusion). But I love my mom too much so I'll have to see her at least every other weekend.
At least this prepares me to live far away from home when I move elsewhere to work as soon as I graduate.
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Rank: Student Body President
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Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 2,754
Location: In the wind...
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blue wrote:I like the freedom and the sense of independence (no, we're not really independent, it's just an illusion). But I love my mom too much so I'll have to see her at least every other weekend.
At least this prepares me to live far away from home when I move elsewhere to work as soon as I graduate. We're not independent? 
-Stringer
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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/25/2008
Posts: 916
Location: waterloo, ontario
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blue wrote:(no, we're not really independent, it's just an illusion). LOL oh my. =S Anyhoo, I don’t think living away from my parents is going to be an extra financial burden (because my parents are ready to financially support me until I get a full-time job of my own) - it's going to be an emotional burden I guess? lol. But I guess it's important to be able to detach yourself... leave the nest so to speak. Isn't that what university/college is supposed to train you for? feel free to disagree haha.
Environmental Studies & Resource Management, Earth Science
University of Waterloo '11
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 2,754
Location: In the wind...
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seamoraine wrote:blue wrote:(no, we're not really independent, it's just an illusion). LOL oh my. =S Anyhoo, I don’t think living away from my parents is going to be an extra financial burden (because my parents are ready to financially support me until I get a full-time job of my own) - it's going to be an emotional burden I guess? lol. But I guess it's important to be able to detach yourself... leave the nest so to speak. Isn't that what university/college is supposed to train you for? feel free to disagree haha. It's quite a bit different if you're not paying the bills. The value of money changes when you have to start paying for your showers in the morning, the TV you watch, the food you eat, the roof over your head, etc.
-Stringer
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 5,232
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Yeah it's pretty easy to move out and claim 'independance' but if your parents are still paying, it really isn't independance at all.
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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/25/2008
Posts: 916
Location: waterloo, ontario
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I disagree. It is a form of physical independence, even if it isn't a *complete* independence (that can obviously come after graduation with a full-time job - enough to pay for rent, food and the like)
Environmental Studies & Resource Management, Earth Science
University of Waterloo '11
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 4/5/2008
Posts: 120
Location: GTA
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Independence is a psychological thing.
In a lot of ways it doesnt matter who is paying the bills because you're still the one deciding how to spend that money.
Ex. a lot of people end up blowing most of their budget on booze, leaving not enough for food, etc. Try getting more cash after explaining that to your parents.
The true value of independence is when you start seeing real consequences to your everyday actions.
Its real easy to be responsible if you're living at home and the only distraction is your mom watching the home and garden channel in the living room.
Not so easy to be responsible when you've got 30 other people living beside you, asking every minute if you wanna play frisbee, get drunk, or to build a giant potatoe canon. But hey, if you can learn to be responsible under these conditions, then you can genuinely call yourself responsible.
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 401
Location: Paris, Ontario
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My parents give me my space and independence, and I think it's because I've proven to them that I am responsible. I have the kind of parents that aren't the kind you have to run from as soon as you get the chance.
My mom still makes me supper (When she is available and I can easily make it on my own if she's not. When you move into residence people are still preparing your meals unless you live in apartment style)
My mom, dad and I both do laundry (Seeing as our laundry is all in the same pile. Again, I could easily do it all on my own if I had to, but we share the duties)
I've always done my homework when I wanted to (I've never needed my parents standing over my shoulder telling me to 'get it done' My parents never really know what I'm doing or working on, so it's really no different than living on residence at university)
I don't have a curfew, my boyfriend is already allowed to sleep over (So there is really no appeal to live in residence for these reasons)
For me, I didn't feel the 'need' to go to university to be 'independent' as my parents already allow for that at home. They aren't constantly holding my hand, and telling me what to do. I also couldn't justify spending thoustands of dollars to live away from home just to make friends.
The money I will be saving, having my own space, and the familiarity of home are also added bonuses to staying at home.
I have lots of time to move out and truly be on my own. I don't feel or have the need to leave now.
There are many ways to become independent and responsible. Living in residence is not a mandatory part of the process to becoming responsible/independent.
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 2,754
Location: In the wind...
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alys98 wrote:My parents give me my space and independence, and I think it's because I've proven to them that I am responsible. I have the kind of parents that aren't the kind you have to run from as soon as you get the chance.
My mom still makes me supper (When she is available and I can easily make it on my own if she's not. When you move into residence people are still preparing your meals unless you live in apartment style)
My mom, dad and I both do laundry (Seeing as our laundry is all in the same pile. Again, I could easily do it all on my own if I had to, but we share the duties)
I've always done my homework when I wanted to (I've never needed my parents standing over my shoulder telling me to 'get it done' My parents never really know what I'm doing or working on, so it's really no different than living on residence at university)
I don't have a curfew, my boyfriend is already allowed to sleep over (So there is really no appeal to live in residence for these reasons)
For me, I didn't feel the 'need' to go to university to be 'independent' as my parents already allow for that at home. They aren't constantly holding my hand, and telling me what to do. I also couldn't justify spending thoustands of dollars to live away from home just to make friends.
The money I will be saving, having my own space, and the familiarity of home are also added bonuses to staying at home.
I have lots of time to move out and truly be on my own. I don't feel or have the need to leave now.
There are many ways to become independent and responsible. Living in residence is not a mandatory part of the process to becoming responsible/independent. There is a big difference between freedom and independence.
-Stringer
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/13/2008
Posts: 358
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I am 17 now and I think it is about time for me to move on and at least live in residence. Second year I can move to a house near campus, then an apartment in preparation for the real world.
My parents are cool but I would feel rather foolish to be living here any longer than August 30th 2008. It's time.
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Rank: Student Body Vice-President
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/25/2008
Posts: 916
Location: waterloo, ontario
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In a nutshell, living at home just makes me lazier and lazier!
And trust me, I love the lazy life. But I come to university and look at all these people putting in ALL their effort so effortlessly, and it escapes me - how do they do it?!
Living alone looks like it'll give me the kick-ass of the century that I've been looking for all my life.
When you get too used to being so laid-back... it's hard for it not to trickle down on how you handle your work as well.
Environmental Studies & Resource Management, Earth Science
University of Waterloo '11
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 401
Location: Paris, Ontario
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Stringer wrote:
There is a big difference between freedom and independence.
Elaborate...
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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