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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/7/2008
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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How much does age difference matter in relationships? Or does it not matter at all?
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/7/2008
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Location: Canada
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It probably does matter, the two of you might be in completely different phases in your life, he might be looking to start a family at that age while you may be just beginning to look at what you want to do in the future, maybe postsecondary education and wouldnt be looking to do the same things as he is. But that doesnt mean it can't work out, you two basically should have a heart to heart talk about where you are in your lives and what plans you have 5 or 10 years down the road.
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Rank: Student Body President
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Joined: 3/4/2008
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Location: Ottawa
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At 23 I couldn't really see myself getting involved with someone who is 18. And that's half the difference. Then again, I think a lot of what matters is that you are at the same sort of point in your life. I do know a couple who have an 8.5 year age difference. He is currently 29 and she just turned 21. But then he just graduated university last year and she will be graduating this year, and when they got together they were both university students. I think she was 18 when they got together, possibly 17. He's someone who when he started university did really poorly. Later on he got a most improved student award. And he did co-op. And he must have started a bit later or taken time off.
 
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Rank: Senior Student
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Location: Toronto
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I'm almost 19 this year and my boyfriend just turned 24. Whenever people in my life learn of this, they become a little awkward but seem to want to accept it. I think I'm between the 'old enough to have a older boyfriend' and 'too young to have an older boyfriend' stages. I think that it's hard to really define what's acceptable, because it depends a lot on maturity levels and how deep the commitment or affection goes. Sometimes, there are age differences that are outrageous. (I always feel weird when I see Celine Dion with her husband on TV, I'm always like, Wow... that's so her grandfather.) Otherwise, if they love each other and are ready for each other, then it's fine.
McMaster '12!
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Rank: Frosh
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Location: Calgary
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i know a 21 year old who went oput with a 16 year old. They were happy. I think it really depends more on how compatible your personalities are and your intentions and other normal relationship stuff
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/7/2008
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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Feona wrote:I'm almost 19 this year and my boyfriend just turned 24. Whenever people in my life learn of this, they become a little awkward but seem to want to accept it. I think I'm between the 'old enough to have a older boyfriend' and 'too young to have an older boyfriend' stages. I think that it's hard to really define what's acceptable, because it depends a lot on maturity levels and how deep the commitment or affection goes. Sometimes, there are age differences that are outrageous. (I always feel weird when I see Celine Dion with her husband on TV, I'm always like, Wow... that's so her grandfather.) Otherwise, if they love each other and are ready for each other, then it's fine. You took all the words out of my mouth!
As long as the person loves me nd cares for me, does everything for me, then why should i complain?
Also, I think when someone goes into a relationship, age is always the second factor. I mean, when I started going out with my boyfriend, I first observed how he treated me, what kind of a guy he was and how his family was. Then I looked at his age and to be frank, before, I couldn't even imagine dating a guy who's more than 3 years older than me. But now I'm with someone who's more than 5 years older and i'm extremely happy with him. I feel that he is mature and understands me better than any other guy I've ever been with. Therefore, age is not really a factor when you're in love. In fact I've been with someone younger than me as well. So, I don't think it should matter.
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Rank: Frosh
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Location: Canada
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Honestly, it sounds sorta perverted and I mention this b/c you yourself wrote "only" 18 My opinion aside, I hope you have some fun  That is the most important thing. Although what you learn from this experience is equally important.
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Rank: Student Council
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Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 400
Location: Paris, Ontario
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I agree with everyone who are talking about being at the same stage in your life. I'm not saying this is how you and your partner are, but in general, someone who is 18 is ready to pursue a post secondary education, whereas someone who is 28, is often done with the education phase of their life and are settling into a job, and are probably courting the idea of marriage and children. But if this person doesn't see themselves settling down for another 10 years, then maybe you are at the same stages in your lives.
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/9/2008
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Location: Canada
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People say it doesn't matter, but in some way it does ..
You two experienced different times of your lives, which you guys can share, but sometimes it's just so different and the other person just doesn't understand.
But, if you guys are compatible and can overcome all those things, then why not?
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Rank: Frosh
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Location: new brunswick
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i agree with the person that said age it probably dont matter about the age as long as you are compatible together and important people like family aggree with this situation right now am 17 and dating a 22 year old we dont get along all that great sometimes but i know that it is not because of our age it is about our compatability. I also have a friend who is seventeen dating a 26 year old and she seems to be happy but it wasnt easy for her because her parents didnt agree but circumstances have changed now she i s having is baby and they still seem happy so i hope this advice helps.
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Rank: Frosh
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Location: Saskatchewan
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Of course at first it seems awkward and people might be skeptical about your relationship, but if you guys are right for eachother and you know that's who you want to be with, then it really shouldn't matter. besides, when you get older, the age gap closes significantly.. Just for some encouragement, My friends parents are ten years apart, started dating when she was 17 and he was 27 and they've been married for at least 20 years now =)
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/12/2008
Posts: 28
Location: Windsor, ON
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It matters. In summary: you might be in different stages of your life. So it depends.
Ex. a 6yr age difference
scenario A): 15 and 21.. weird VS.
scenario B): 22 and 28.. not so bad
I mean I guess it's because of society and influences of others that we see A) as not so normal and look at it awkwardly, but it does make sense (back to the different stages, goals, etc.) kind of thing. But if it is the case that you care about someone and are in one of those awkward age gap moments (ex. A), just be good friends, and wait a while. When you grow up and mature, you might find it's not the right person.
UWO 2012 - BioMed
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/11/2008
Posts: 14
Location: Toronto
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Age makes a great deal of difference in relationships. specially if there is a big gap in between. if it 2-3 years that is fine cause you are both at the same stage of life anything more than that is problematic. one might be in high school the other university level totally different. one might be in university the other working world again different influence and so forth. One might be ready to settle the other still wants to party. So in my opioning no matter how much in love you are or Compatible age along will take you to different directions.
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Rank: Frosh
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Location: Ontario
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peidophile....,lol.
I know I spelled that wrong, but thats a big age difference!
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/8/2008
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Location: Saskatchewan
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ready.for.summer wrote:peidophile....,lol.
I know I spelled that wrong, but thats a big age difference!
He's obviously not a pedophile if she's 18. At least it's legal! Besides, I'm sure she's mature enough to make the right decisions.. I'm sorry, but that was kind of a rude comment.
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/12/2008
Posts: 43
Location: Ontario
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ha ha I know, I'm just saying how thats a very big age difference.
how did you guys meet anyways?
and I'm sorry if you found it offensive, I didnt mean for it to be offensive, I think I have just watched too much Dane Cook,lol, and when I saw your post it kinda reminded me of it.
anyways, if you did say greatly offended you, I'm sorry.
and your right, she is 18, so it is technically legal.
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Rank: Student Body President
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Location: Ottawa
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Quote:and your right, she is 18, so it is technically legal. Currently, in Canada, the age of consent is 14. What does that mean? Currently, it is legal for a 14 year old to have sex with a 30 year old, so long as they both consent of course. 18 only becomes an issue if the older person is in a position of authority over the younger person (e.g. teacher). Or, for whatever reason probably relating to homophobia when the law was passed, the age of consent for anal sex is 18. There is a law currently in the works to raise that age of consent to 16, with a provison for 5 years difference for those 14-15 (and the existing 2 years difference for those 12-13). This apparently doesn't include harmonizing the age for all kinds of sex. This 18 being legal business stems from the US I think, but it's not even true there, it varies a fair bit by state. So, under the current law, anyone over 14 is "legal"; under the new law, should it pass without major changes from that summary, a 20 year old with a 15 year old would be "legal" so long as the 20 year old wasn't an authority figure, but a 21 year old would not.
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/12/2008
Posts: 43
Location: Ontario
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ewww its 14, thats just wrong.
are you taking law or something?
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Rank: Student Body President
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Joined: 3/4/2008
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Location: Ottawa
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No. I got that particular link via google in 3 seconds. I just know the change has been under discussion.
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Rank: Frosh
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Joined: 3/7/2008
Posts: 9
Location: Vancouver
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A lot of you guys are saying that you'd rather date somebody because of age and not compatability. You guys are also saying that you'd date somebody a few years difference than not date at all. Those who advocate not dating because of age fear social rejection and care too much about what they presume what society dictates them to be.
We have to look at the bigger picture here. We also have to look at what's important.
What's important is that you are compatible(as a poster mentioned).
Keep in mind: What keeps a couple apart is what's going to keep them together. Essentially, the struggles, problems, and barriers that you guys overcome will add value to your life. And this value is a highly conducive glue that will keep you guys together.
Bottom line: Don't let age be the decisive factor to decide who you date and who you don't date. Compatibility is key. You date who you want. Be it a 40 year old person, or an 80 year old person.
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