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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/14/2008
Posts: 75
Location: East York/Toronto
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Who's saying I'm equal? I just think I'm smart enough to do it, but obviously I don't have the same study habits and the High School kids have come out writing papers and I haven't written a formal paper in probably 12 years. I had a good group of mature students (ok we were all 24 at the time) in College. It's a bit different now in University. I've asked my teachers for help in University but they're very busy people. I've talked to students in my class who have no lie told me I'm too smart and can't understand why i'm failing. They look at me like I'm some idiot who's trying to be a friend to them...
To be completely honestly I have disability and its none of anyone's business but I do need extra help. I don't look like I do, but that's life. I just need regular people like you, or whoever, to take extra time to explain things to me in way I understand-- you know the way teacher's don't! I need student to student help. SOmeone on my level. Most people just don't get it.
Anyway- maybe I just haven't someone nice enough because you didn't seem to offer any real nice advice did you?
Glendon/York Universty - Specialization in Psychology
Child and Youth Worker Graduate
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/9/2008
Posts: 36
Location: Toronto,Ontario, Canada
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Dans,
I hope this doesn't come off as cold or inconsiderate, but in many ways I think you're looking for something that rarely exists. This could be the UofT in me, but in my experience, there are very very few people who will go out of their way on an ongoing basis to help someone they are not friends with. Certainly, I have both shared and borrowed notes on occassion from people I wasn't entirely close with, but this was not an ongoing thing. People want to be friends, they want to develop relationships beyond school and generally aren't interested in assoicating with people who are for all intents and purposes only befriending them to improve their grades. Perhaps other channels of help might be more useful to you, such as academic councillors at the Registrar's office, or perhaps writing/math centres.
There was, for example, a girl in my first year of university who I often sat beside in a couple of my classes and chatted with frequently. But, she would only call me or message me on msn if she was having trouble studying or needed help. It was never about grabbing a coffee or lunch, or just hanging out. Suffice it to say that I no longer associate with this person.
Again I'm sorry if this comes off as uncompassionate towards you and your situation, but this is what I have observed to be reality, and I suppose so have you.
Best of luck
H.B.A. (History) University of Toronto '08
M.A. (History) York University '09
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 1,704
Location: Wilfrid Laurier University
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Bingo. Why would somebody take time out of their day to help you in exchange for nothing? If they're a friend, sure. However, these so-called "study buddies" don't exist.
-Stringer
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 4/5/2008
Posts: 79
Location: Waterloo
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I dunno, it reallly depends on the size and character of your social group.
I had plenty of purely academic friends that I only ever really talked to for school stuff.
Funny story, during the operations mgmt final, almost my entire year got their hands on a cheat sheet called "ops_master_jackie" made by some girl named jackie 2 or 3 years earlier.
This cheat sheet spread faster than chicken pox in a kindergarten class. I wouldn't be surprised if it was STILL being passed down from generation to generation lol
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Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 1,704
Location: Wilfrid Laurier University
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DC++ is the best for note-sharing. One of the many downsides of losing that beautiful program after 1st year.
-Stringer
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/14/2008
Posts: 75
Location: East York/Toronto
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Well If it turned into a friendship- sure! but I'm also a lot older. I have on occasion gone for beers with some kids from my class and it turned into quite the hilarious sex education chat. It was fun, but age did become a bit of a difference and although the kids were always willing to help me out I think it was because we were in a drama class and it was more personal (vs lecture classes where we rarely talk to people) I have made wonderful friends through school- like back in college when all of us "older" students (23,24,25) would study together and actually became best of friends. We are still friends now, but it's been 3 years. The students that went on to University from our "group" (Western, Windsor, and I go to York) then are having the same issues I am. they say "I can't seem to find anyone our age to befriend, and no one younger seems to want to study together they think i'm old!" It's just that I'm caught in that age group I guess. I'm too young at heart to be "old" but too "old" to be hanging out with the first year university students. It'd be diferent if I was a couple of years younger and the age difference wasn't so big! Maybe it's just the small campus I'm at.? Age really isn't a factor for me when it comes to friendships but I'm not going to lie and say there isn't a maturity difference between a 28 year year old a 17 or 18 year old. If I could meet someone in the early 20's range maybe... Oh well maybe I am asking for something unttainable, but I guess I just don't know what to do? Maybe I'll start my own club  My boyfriend is the same age as I am and goes to U of T. He actually has the same problem I have with trying to find where he fits socially and academically so he ends up just as on his own as I am. We can't really study together for obvioius distractions, plus he's a History major and I'm not lol. At least we can understand the need to "not see each other" when we need to focus on school. At least that's one good thing 
Glendon/York Universty - Specialization in PsychologyChild and Youth Worker Graduate
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/9/2008
Posts: 36
Location: Toronto,Ontario, Canada
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I can certainly empathize with your situation dans. I can only imagine how difficult it can be for mature students to make connections with people, particularly when they often work during the day, only take evening classes, and generally don't have the time (and often interest) in joining clubs and such at school. I've met a few mature students (30s+) at UT, and seemed to get on with them quite well, although have not developed any sort of meaning relationship with them. Perhaps as you spend more time at uni and your classmates age a little, the maturity gap will be less of a problem.
Sorry I can't be more useful.
Cheers
H.B.A. (History) University of Toronto '08
M.A. (History) York University '09
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Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/14/2008
Posts: 75
Location: East York/Toronto
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no problem. i am a transfer student so take a few classes only, and work the rest. i don't take night classes but i'm not there a lot anyhow. thanks for being awesome anyway!
Glendon/York Universty - Specialization in Psychology
Child and Youth Worker Graduate
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 8/5/2008
Posts: 1
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There are a variety of activities available once you make the transition from high school to college. From extracurricular to campus happenings to sports and community service, college life is diverse and a different experience for each student. Discover what soon-to-be college students should know about freshman year survival. Well college life isn't very much different from high school life, changes will most likely come from the social activities and class timings. I suggest you gather yourself around an educated group of people who might be able to help you get through it better.
Garrett
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