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Nuclear Weapons Don't Exist Options
78odrieW
Posted: April 28, 2009 10:03:43 PM

Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/23/2009
Posts: 160
Location: Bizarro World
Nuclear weapons don't actually exist.

The Manhattan Project was just a bunch of physicists getting together to see who could make the best cocktail. Of course, the physicists knew that no one would pay them to do this all day, so they told the US government that they were making a "big-ass bomb" that could win them the war. Unfortunately, they failed to foresee that the US government would actually expect them to create this bomb--probably because they were all stinking drunk on cocktails, which they had gotten pretty good at making by this point.

When President Truman finally asked the physicists to produce the bomb on August 4, 1945, they panicked and handed over the giant ball of paper-mache that they had been sh*tting in ever since someone had let a big one rip a few weeks earlier and they were unable to get the putrid smell out of the bathroom.

On August 5, J. Robert Oppenheimer, the first of the physicists to sober up, secretly flew to Hiroshima. Once there, he pleaded with the people of the city to pretend they were dead when the giant ball of sh*t landed on them. The people refused outright. But they didn't want a big ball of sh*t to go splat in their city, so they devised in ingenious plan....

At 8:15am on August 6, the entire population of Hiroshima directed their asses straigt into the air and farted simultaneously. The hurricane force winds created by the farts caused the the ball of sh*t to explode in mid air in what we know to be a mushroom cloud. The people of Hiroshima had succeeded: instead of having a giant ball of sh*t fall in the middle of their city, they now had an infinite number of sh*t drops raining down on them, browning out the sky. Fortunately for the people of Hiroshima, by the time the sh*t drops had reached the ground, they had already died suffocating on methane.

Of course, the US thought that they had successfully detonated an atomic bomb, so when they tried to drop another one three days later on Nagasaki, Oppenheimer had to repeat the whole thing all over again. When asked how he felt about single-handedly causing the deaths of over 200 000 innocents, Oppenheimer replied, "Meh. Sh*t happens."

So no one need fear any of the nuclear weapons that all of the crazy countries supposedly possess today. They're just giant balls of sh*t.Incidently, no one else knows about this, so keep this quiet unless you want a bunch of countries to have major sewage problems on their hands.
UniWannabe
Posted: April 28, 2009 10:38:29 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 2,347
Location: http://tiny.cc/Maps485
78odrieW wrote:
Nuclear weapons don't actually exist.

The Manhattan Project was just a bunch of physicists getting together to see who could make the best cocktail. Of course, the physicists knew that no one would pay them to do this all day, so they told the US government that they were making a "big-ass bomb" that could win them the war. Unfortunately, they failed to foresee that the US government would actually expect them to create this bomb--probably because they were all stinking drunk on cocktails, which they had gotten pretty good at making by this point.

When President Truman finally asked the physicists to produce the bomb on August 4, 1945, they panicked and handed over the giant ball of paper-mache that they had been sh*tting in ever since someone had let a big one rip a few weeks earlier and they were unable to get the putrid smell out of the bathroom.

On August 5, J. Robert Oppenheimer, the first of the physicists to sober up, secretly flew to Hiroshima. Once there, he pleaded with the people of the city to pretend they were dead when the giant ball of sh*t landed on them. The people refused outright. But they didn't want a big ball of sh*t to go splat in their city, so they devised in ingenious plan....

At 8:15am on August 6, the entire population of Hiroshima directed their asses straigt into the air and farted simultaneously. The hurricane force winds created by the farts caused the the ball of sh*t to explode in mid air in what we know to be a mushroom cloud. The people of Hiroshima had succeeded: instead of having a giant ball of sh*t fall in the middle of their city, they now had an infinite number of sh*t drops raining down on them, browning out the sky. Fortunately for the people of Hiroshima, by the time the sh*t drops had reached the ground, they had already died suffocating on methane.

Of course, the US thought that they had successfully detonated an atomic bomb, so when they tried to drop another one three days later on Nagasaki, Oppenheimer had to repeat the whole thing all over again. When asked how he felt about single-handedly causing the deaths of over 200 000 innocents, Oppenheimer replied, "Meh. Sh*t happens."

So no one need fear any of the nuclear weapons that all of the crazy countries supposedly possess today. They're just giant balls of sh*t.Incidently, no one else knows about this, so keep this quiet unless you want a bunch of countries to have major sewage problems on their hands.


i believe he said "It worked." then "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

Is Man Merely A Mistake Of God's? Or God Merely A Mistake Of Man's?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
- 1 Peter 3:17
karla
Posted: April 29, 2009 1:10:54 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 6,357
I wonder if he had rehearsed those lines?
ARMY101
Posted: April 29, 2009 2:42:12 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
What a load. Stupid.

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
mynameismattgotmlgo
Posted: April 29, 2009 3:28:56 PM
Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 6,028
^ Yes, I'm sure he was being serious.

Note use of joke account.

BMSc Honours Specialization in Medical Science, Minor in Psychology UWO '09
Bachelor of Pharmacy University of Alberta '13
ARMY101
Posted: April 29, 2009 11:05:48 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
I don't like stupid comedy. It's not funny... Napoleon Dynamite = worst movie ever.batman

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
UniWannabe
Posted: April 29, 2009 11:07:56 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 2,347
Location: http://tiny.cc/Maps485
ARMY101 wrote:
I don't like stupid comedy. It's not funny... Napoleon Dynamite = worst movie ever.batman


it was funny back when i was stupid. that was never.

Is Man Merely A Mistake Of God's? Or God Merely A Mistake Of Man's?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
- 1 Peter 3:17
crackajack
Posted: April 29, 2009 11:13:11 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/19/2009
Posts: 1,519
78odrieW wrote:
Nuclear weapons don't actually exist.

The Manhattan Project was just a bunch of physicists getting together to see who could make the best cocktail. Of course, the physicists knew that no one would pay them to do this all day, so they told the US government that they were making a "big-ass bomb" that could win them the war. Unfortunately, they failed to foresee that the US government would actually expect them to create this bomb--probably because they were all stinking drunk on cocktails, which they had gotten pretty good at making by this point.

When President Truman finally asked the physicists to produce the bomb on August 4, 1945, they panicked and handed over the giant ball of paper-mache that they had been sh*tting in ever since someone had let a big one rip a few weeks earlier and they were unable to get the putrid smell out of the bathroom.

On August 5, J. Robert Oppenheimer, the first of the physicists to sober up, secretly flew to Hiroshima. Once there, he pleaded with the people of the city to pretend they were dead when the giant ball of sh*t landed on them. The people refused outright. But they didn't want a big ball of sh*t to go splat in their city, so they devised in ingenious plan....

At 8:15am on August 6, the entire population of Hiroshima directed their asses straigt into the air and farted simultaneously. The hurricane force winds created by the farts caused the the ball of sh*t to explode in mid air in what we know to be a mushroom cloud. The people of Hiroshima had succeeded: instead of having a giant ball of sh*t fall in the middle of their city, they now had an infinite number of sh*t drops raining down on them, browning out the sky. Fortunately for the people of Hiroshima, by the time the sh*t drops had reached the ground, they had already died suffocating on methane.

Of course, the US thought that they had successfully detonated an atomic bomb, so when they tried to drop another one three days later on Nagasaki, Oppenheimer had to repeat the whole thing all over again. When asked how he felt about single-handedly causing the deaths of over 200 000 innocents, Oppenheimer replied, "Meh. Sh*t happens."

So no one need fear any of the nuclear weapons that all of the crazy countries supposedly possess today. They're just giant balls of sh*t.Incidently, no one else knows about this, so keep this quiet unless you want a bunch of countries to have major sewage problems on their hands.


OMG! Resist the New World Order! This makes me want to hide in my parents basement till i'm 45 and blog about how the government is all a bunch of LIEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!! batman

Queen's University Life Sciences '13
ARMY101
Posted: April 29, 2009 11:14:32 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
UniWannabe wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
I don't like stupid comedy. It's not funny... Napoleon Dynamite = worst movie ever.batman


it was funny back when i was stupid. that was never.


+1

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
TaintedKane
Posted: April 30, 2009 12:33:32 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/7/2008
Posts: 1,543
Location: Newmarket
ARMY101 wrote:
I don't like stupid comedy. It's not funny... Napoleon Dynamite = worst movie ever.batman


I loved that movie
ARMY101
Posted: April 30, 2009 1:12:11 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
Why? It was nothing more than a stupid special ed. kid going through his life. It was a terrible movie with no plot and nothing was funny.

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
striker_0
Posted: April 30, 2009 5:07:59 PM
Rank: Posteur Intermédiaire
Groups: Member

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 515
Location: Waterloo
ARMY101 wrote:
Why? It was nothing more than a stupid special ed. kid going through his life. It was a terrible movie with no plot and nothing was funny.

there was a special ed kid in there?? really ?
ARMY101
Posted: April 30, 2009 6:47:59 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
Yeah, you know, it was the name of the movie... Kind of important to the central theme of the movie.

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
karla
Posted: April 30, 2009 7:05:58 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 6,357
ARMY101 wrote:
Yeah, you know, it was the name of the movie... Kind of important to the central theme of the movie.


I don't think Napoleon Dynamite was special ed...
ARMY101
Posted: April 30, 2009 7:12:33 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 4,383
Location: Ottawa, ON.
karla wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
Yeah, you know, it was the name of the movie... Kind of important to the central theme of the movie.


I don't think Napoleon Dynamite was special ed...


You're thinking he's somehow normal?!

Carleton University
Bachelor of Arts in Law
karla
Posted: April 30, 2009 7:15:13 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 6/5/2008
Posts: 6,357
ARMY101 wrote:
karla wrote:
ARMY101 wrote:
Yeah, you know, it was the name of the movie... Kind of important to the central theme of the movie.


I don't think Napoleon Dynamite was special ed...


You're thinking he's somehow normal?!


He was kind of weird, yeah, but not special ed I don't think.
Ooosh
Posted: April 30, 2009 7:17:57 PM
Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 3,966
Location: Kingston and Toronto
Napoleon Dynamite WAS the worst movie ever.
Ugggghhhh.

I like some stupid comedy (Wedding Crashers, Superbad, etc.)... but that was just 100% crap.

Queen's '10
Ryerson '11

UniWannabe
Posted: April 30, 2009 7:44:29 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 2,347
Location: http://tiny.cc/Maps485
napoleon dynamite's character was socially awkward and in a way special ed.

Is Man Merely A Mistake Of God's? Or God Merely A Mistake Of Man's?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
- 1 Peter 3:17
juicy_couture_22
Posted: April 30, 2009 9:23:07 PM

Rank: Senior Student
Groups: Member

Joined: 11/6/2008
Posts: 121
I love that movie. Tina, come get your ham!!!!!

and Pedro's relatives. . . .ahhh soo sooo good.
TaintedKane
Posted: April 30, 2009 9:31:56 PM

Rank: Student Body President
Groups: Member

Joined: 3/7/2008
Posts: 1,543
Location: Newmarket
I don't know why I like it. I just do. I am easily entertained. "You friggin idiot." My friends used to talk like him sometimes


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