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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 8
Location: Port Colborne
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I started going out with my boyfriend on boxing day and now I am planning on going to school 2 hours away. We've just starting talking about what we're going to do but it's really confusing and complicated, we're planning on breaking up because neither of us want a long-distance relationship, is it a bad idea to stay together until I have to move away?
Is any one else in a similar situation?
Does any one have any advice?
thanks
Karra
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Rank: Student Council
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/5/2008
Posts: 401
Location: Paris, Ontario
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I think it's a bad idea to stay together if you don't want a long distance relationship and he is not who you truly want to be with. If you really like him, and you think there may be something there, I think it's silly just to break up with someone because of some two hour distance. If you don't think it can last, then likely its not meant to be, and you should end it now, so you can move on with your life at University and begin to meet new boyfriends. But if you both think it could be worth it, it's better to love and lost, then never to have loved at all. 3 years ago My boyfriend and I had been dating for several months, and then we decided to make it an 'exclusive' relationship around Christmas time, like you. That coming September he moved about 45 min away for school. It was difficult, but we made it work, MSN and webcams definitely come in handy, and so do long distance minutes on cell phones. He wasn't as far, so it did make it a bit easier. We're still together today. He's had some issues with school, so unfortunately he's going to be there longer than anticipated, (which sucks) but for the past two years he's been living at home and drives to one campus, and then takes the bus to the campus he attends, so its been a lot better, but with me possibly moving away for school this year, we're going to have the face the idea of having a long distance relationship again.
Our intentions were that we would move to an apartment where I went to school and then he would get a job, but now, since he has to go to school for another year, that's not going to happen.
Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do in life, you will be a success!!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 9
Location: Canada
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I think that if you have been with someone for a long time then mopvingn two hours away is nothing. However, don't force something to work just because it could have worked if you were to stay home! This is your time in life and it is not right if you are altering it to fit someone else who you obviously haven't thought of being with for very long!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 5
Location: Ontario
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Long distances can put a real strain on a relationship, it can either crash and burn or over come the challenge and grow stronger. I found that being apart from my high school boyfriend while in university was one of the hardest things but it strengthed our relationship and taught us to learn more about each other through phone calls and emails and msn. It was apart from him I learned who I am as an individual and who I want to become as a person in the relationship. We have now been dating for 4 years and I know that the distance apart (with weekend visits) has caused us to grow closer and you will find that university/college life will put any relationship, regardless of distance, through the ringer and no solution or advice will be the solution. The best thing is to let the relationship play itself out and not to force anything.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 14
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I was always told that you shudnt let a relationship affect your schooling even if you really love the person. you could try a long distance thing but from experience its not worth it, so i think maybe (dont think im horrible) its best to break up or talk about what you and him have.
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Rank: Valedictorian
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/4/2008
Posts: 553
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Break it off ASAP, if you don't want to do long distance, then use the time in high school right now to move on, because you don't want to have those feelings if any, hanging around as your heading off to university. If you want you can still be friends.
My ex and I were going out for about 3 years, and then I told her I would be heading off to university away from home and she started saying things like if I go it's over and all that, so I said Okay, bye. School is #1, plus if you're going to a school 2 hours away, you're probably staying on rez right?, so you have the oppurtunity to meet so many more people.
UWO '12 Social Science
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/8/2008
Posts: 6
Location: sherwood park
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I don't think its a bad idea. But it might be weird having a relationship with a best before date on it, and always know that its going to have to end. 2 hours isn't far, and if you think that you two can't last through that, maybe you aren't really the right people for eachother
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/9/2008
Posts: 9
Location: Canada
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Is it really true that neither of you want to have a long distance relationship? Because two hours isn't far if you're really in love with someone. However it is completely pointless to have a long distance relationship if you both aren't in it 150% because you then get into cheating territory. Since you two only started dating on Boxing Day it may be that neither of you are ready for such a big commitment, however I may be totally wrong about that. But if you two are really in love with each other then you both would want to stay together no matter what the distance and work hard at making the relationship work. My friend was with her boyfriend for five years, one of those years spent in long distance. He lived in Canada while she was in Asia (both attending school). But they knew that they loved each other and they worked hard at maintaining their relationship. Its not easy but if you really love the person then you'd be willing to try anything. This is all my own opinion so don't take any offence! 
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/9/2008
Posts: 5
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Wellllll, i guess that depends...if you know your going to break up FOR SURE, then i would say its better to do it sooner rather then later so you'll be over it long before u leave for school, and u won't have to bring any excess baggage with you. if there's a slight chance you may stay together while your in school then i would just work on on your relationship more and prepare yourselves for long distance. i know people that live dayyys away from each other and their doing just fine. But if you know your gonna break up then do it now...in my opinion there's no point to putting ur heart into something that you know isn't going to work! good luck!
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/9/2008
Posts: 3
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you really have to think about what you feel, and if long distance is completely out of the question for you guys.
you also have to keep in mind that when you are going to go away to school you are going to meet tonnes of new people, and are going to be very preoccupied with new independence. If you feel that you care enough about him to put in the proper effort to make it work considering everything else you're going to have going on, then maybe it is worth a try. Just remember that no one likes having a time line on their relationship, and if thats how you feel about it, then maybe it is wiser to end it and like other said, save yourself the baggage.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/10/2008
Posts: 6
Location: Sault Ste Marie
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Its true, heading off to school far away from home is a really new experience, and with education to deal with, theres really no room for trying to cope with a highschool love thats hours away. Though some people can do it, ive seen it happen and really it takes the right determination and the ability to sacrafice certain things. School is #1 though never forget that, its what shapes your life. You will meet so many new people in your new school life so its not that bad. Think about it hard before making any rash decisions.
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Rank: Frosh
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/16/2008
Posts: 10
Location: Winnipeg
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i can totally relate, i was getting really close with this guy and his friend told me he didn't want to ask me out because i'm leaving in june anyways and it would be super hard for him
but i think that if your relationship is worth it then try out the long distance thing, if you don't like it then ditch him
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